The bird don't talk.

A man goes into the pet store to buy a pet bird. He sees dozens of caged birds with tiny price tags dangling from their little legs. He scans each price tag one by one: $5, $5, $5 ... $50!

"Hmmm," he wonders. "This $50 bird looks like all of the others. What could be special about this one?"

He asks the store clerk. The clerk replies that this one is very special because it can talk. The shopper is impressed enough that he buys this special talking bird and takes it home. The very next day he returns, dis-appointed.

"The bird didn't talk."

The clerk asks, "Did he look in his little mirror?"
"Little mirror? I didn't buy a mirror. Does he need a mirror?"
"Of course," replies the clerk. "He looks in his little mirror and sees another bird in there. He thinks he's not alone and starts to sing. Starts to talk. Got to have a mirror."

This sounds reasonable, so the customer buys a mirror and leaves. The next day he is back again, disgruntled.

"The bird looked in his little mirror," he says. "But he still didn't talk."
"Well," ponders the clerk, "Did he run up and down his little ladder?"

"Ladder? Does he need a ladder?"

"Of course," replies the clerk. "Don't you feel better after you exercise? When your little bird runs up and down his little ladder, those endorphins start pumping in his little brain. Makes him want to sing. Makes him want to talk. Got to have a ladder."

"How much is a ladder?"

"It's $12.95."

"Give me a ladder." And off goes the customer. The next day he is back, with a scowl on his face.
"The bird walked up and down his little ladder. He looked in his little mirror. But he still didn't talk!"

The clerk listens to the angry customer and then asks, "Did he swing on his little swing? You see, when the bird swings it makes him think he's back in nature. Makes him want to sing. Makes him want to talk."

"How much is a swing?"

"It's $7.95."

The customer grudgingly buys the swing and leaves. But the very next day he is back again, angrier than ever.

"The bird swung on his little swing. He ran up and down his little ladder. He looked in his little mirror. But he still didn't sing and he still didn't talk!"
"Hmmmm," thinks the clerk. "Did he tinkle his little bell?"

The customer doesn't even wait for an explanation. Determined to see this out to its conclusion, he grabs a little bell, throws some money on the counter and storms off. You guessed it—the next day he is back again.

"The bird's dead!" he exclaims.

"Dead?"

"Yup. Dead. His little feet sticking up in the air. He got up this morning healthy as could be. He looked in his little mirror. He tinkled his little bell. He ran up and down his little ladder. He swung on his little swing. And then, just before he keeled over and died, he looked over at me, a little tear forming in his little eye, and he finally spoke to me. He said, "Didn't they sell birdseed?!"